Why Dating Apps Suck – Stop Waiting For The Next Best Thing
So many women…
And you STILL haven’t found the one.
What are you doing wrong?
You’re looking for love in all the wrong places.
On the surface, dating apps seem great. There are THOUSANDS of women to choose from. It’s got to be better than just going to a random bar, hoping a pretty lady shows up, hoping she’s single, and hoping the two of you have something in common… right?
According to science, you’re actually hurting your chances of happiness when you approach dating like this.
On a related note…
Why are women like pots of jam? Read on to find out.
Click Here To Watch The Video – Why Dating Apps Suck
[adthrive-in-post-video-player video-id=”vmZKbMa6″ upload-date=”2018-05-09T15:19:00.000Z” name=”Dating Apps SCREW-UP Your Chances With Women STOP This #1 Problem!” description=”On the surface, dating apps seem great. There are THOUSANDS of women to choose from. But You’re looking for love in all the wrong places. “]
Click Here To Watch The Video – Stop Waiting For The Next Best Thing
I get a lot of questions about online dating. ‘Antonio, how should I look in my profile picture? What do I wear on a first date?’ But that’s not the article I’m going to write… because the latest studies say that if you’re dating online, you have a WAY bigger problem than what to wear.
Before I reveal the problem, I want to share with you a little bit of research coming out of Columbia University by Sheena Iyengar. This is a classic study – it’s called the jam study.
Imagine you’re walking into a grocery store and you’ve got two tables in front of you. One table has 24 types of jam, the other only 6. Which do you go for?
In this study 60% of people went to the table with 24 types of jam, 40% to the table with only 6 types. Which do you think sold more? The table with 24 jams?
Wrong. They had 60% of the customers and a lot more options but they LOST big time when it came to sales. Only 3% of the people who went and looked at the 24 different types of jam actually bought. When there were only 6 options, 33% bought. That was ELEVEN TIMES as many!
And that’s the problem with dating apps, gentlemen – you’ve got too many options. I know you’re thinking, gents. ‘Antonio, having thousands of women to choose from is not a problem for me.’ But if you’re looking to build a deeper relationship, your biggest barrier is the complexity of choice.
So how can you overcome it? I’ve got a 5-step decision-making process that you can follow to make the right choice for you when you have almost unlimited options.
#1. Stop “Serendipidating” (Dating Apps Encourage This)
‘Serendipidating’ means leaving the dating process up to chance. Have you seen the movie ‘Serendipity’? I watched it with my wife. It’s all about chance.
The heroine takes a book, puts a note in it, puts it up on a random shelf, and waits years for the hero to find it. And if you’re okay with waiting 10, 20, 30, 40 years for chance to bring you your soulmate, go ahead and stop reading now. But if you’re less patient than that, want to take dating seriously, and are willing to put in a bit of effort then I think you’ve got a GREAT chance.
What kind of effort? It begins with tip #2…
#2. Know Your Values
Make a list of values, know your rules, and when you’re looking for a partner – make sure that they align. You may say, ‘Oh, I do that, Antonio.’ But understand that as men we’re very bad at doing this.
I’ve seen the research on this when it comes to speed dating. Men go in with a list of what they were looking for in a partner, but as soon as they start talking to a pretty woman, they invariably end up ignoring it. Do not ignore the list – on dating apps or in real life.
That’s why arranged marriages tend to work – because they don’t elevate emotion above all else the way modern culture tells us to. They look at it from the perspective of whether it’s a good union for the two families. But if you let emotion make your decisions, you may end up in trouble. Think about it. If you meet a girl her in a nightclub, how are you know what her values are and what’s important to her? (Hint: you won’t!)
Okay, okay, you both value a fun night out. But if you don’t agree, for example, on whether you want to have children – then understand there’s not much potential here for a long-term relationship. Same with your other non-negotiables. You’ve got to get those key points down first before you look at secondary factors, which I think are a lot less important.
#3. Be Honest About Your Goals
Figure out what your goals are when it comes to a romantic relationship. This is easier said than done, because we lie to ourselves so often. Do you actually want to get married or are you just caving to pressure from your parents? If not, that’s fine. To each his own. Just be honest with yourself – and your lady. It’ll save you both a lot of pain.
If one of your goals is financial freedom, look at your partner’s finances. If she’s financially irresponsible, understand that this could be a huge issue. If your goal is to have children, does she as well? You’ve got to make sure the person you’re looking to spend your life with has the same long-term goals as you.
#4. Examine Your Options Through The Lens Of Your Goals
Think of your goals like a camera. When you look through that camera, you only see a section of your surroundings. You’re purposely not looking at what’s behind you or to the left and right – you’re focusing only on what’s directly in front of you. Focus only on the options that line up with your goals.
That means thinking about how to attract women whose goals align with yours. Maybe you’ve got a church youth group that meets up on Saturday nights – that could be a great option for finding a wife. But if you just want a wife for the night, if you want to go out and have some fun – be honest with yourself and head to a nightclub instead. Frame it through the lens of your goals and then you can make a very easy decision.
#5. Hard Work
Put some skin in the game, gentlemen. For any relationship that matters to you, you have to work at it and give it the time and attention it deserves. That includes taking the risk that the relationship will fail. But it’s well worth it. With my wife, it’s been 15 years of work, 15 years of love, and 15 years of immense joy.
But with any relationship – romantic or not – there is work and there is going to be loss. With all of my business partners, like my good friends Aaron Marino and Ryan Masters – we’ve put in a lot of work to build that trust. And it makes life worth living.
I truly believe the complexity issue in modern dating is a huge problem. Having too many choices is leaving so many of you guys unhappy and unable to find a partner. I want you to be happy, to be successful, and to become the man you know yourself to be.
If you want those things too – if you’re serious about it and willing to put in the work to live your best life – I want to help you. Personally.
I have something coming up that could change your life. But I’m VERY selective about who I allow on board. Could you qualify? Click here to check out my Masterclass and find out more.