What clothes do women find sexy on men?
I get asked this ALL the time.
Let’s be honest – it’s on most men’s minds.
There’s no guaranteed formula for sex appeal –
Every woman is different – BUT…
I’ve seen and heard a LOT of women’s opinions on men’s style… and there ARE looks that get mentioned in glowing, excited, and highly descriptive terms again and again and again.
According to my experience, these are the 5 looks you should choose to have the best chance of pleasing the ladies. You might be surprised by how simple some of them are.
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#1. Fitted Cashmere Sweater
Why Women Love It:
Cashmere drapes well and is extremely tactile – it looks good, but it also makes women want to touch you.
Expect to invest heavily in a good cashmere sweater. They’re built to last, so you’ll get your money’s worth as long as you take good care of it.
Choosing And Caring For A Cashmere Sweater
* Choose a reputable merchant – counterfeit sweaters won’t last. Counterfeit cashmere sweaters have been found containing rat fur. Personally, I think rat is a little bit less sexy.
* Get it adjusted – While it can cost a little more than a shirt, and may require a tailor with specialized skills, the rule is the same as with dress shirts. Fit is king, the sweater will only look AMAZING if the fit is on point.
* For maximum versatility, choose a solid color from a neutral palette. The most versatile colors are green, blue, brown, gray, and white. These neutrals will pair well with nearly everything you own already.
* De-pill often. Cashmere, especially when new, can form little fuzzballs in high-friction areas such as under the arms. Use a razor blade or lint tape to remove them.
* Don’t wash every time you wear. You can extend the wearability by wearing a shirt underneath – think polo or undershirt, depending on the style.
* Hand wash with a mild detergent. Cashmere SHRINKS in hot water, so use cold unless you want to end up gifting it to your dog. They’d probably prefer rat.
Why Women Love Them:
Even the smartest boots suggest a certain rugged practicality. They give you more height and their chunkiness makes you look more
Remember, whatever the type of boot, match your leathers. Your boots, belt, watch strap, and any other leather on your body should be
roughly the same color – not a mix of black and brown.
Boots come in every flavor from formal to casual – here’s a quick guide to picking the best boot for the occasion.
Hiking boots: the most casual and durable boots, for outdoor pursuits only. Most can’t be described as sexy, but leather ones are your best bet for a touch of style.
Work boots: The classic, comfortable blue-collar workman’s leather boot with laces. Pairs well with rugged jeans, a work belt, and a t-shirt, work shirt, or chunky sweater.
Western boots: Also known as cowboy boots. The no.1 accessory you need with these is CONFIDENCE – there’s nothing cowboyish about looking awkward! Pair with jeans and a simple button-down shirt and make them the focus of your outfit.
Chukka: the least formal dress boot, often made with suede. They have Derby lacing, 2-3 eyelets, and usually leather soles. Dress up with a sports coat and slacks or down with a t-shirt and nice jeans. Desert boots are a less formal version with rubber soles.
Chelsea: laceless pull-on boots with elastic sides, usually sleek and smooth with no toe cap. They work with anything from jeans to a suit. Choose black for more formal wear and brown or oxblood for casual.
Lace-up: pretty much an ankle-high version of Oxfords and Derbys, and similarly formal – you can wear them with a suit. Oxford boots are the most formal, with closed lacing – the vamp (front part of the shoe) is sewn on top of the quarters (back part) giving a clean and sleek look. Derby boots are slightly less formal, with open lacing (quarters on top of the vamp).
When buying dress boots, remember those with ‘boot-like’ rubber soles are less formal than ‘shoe-like’ leather soles – but even though they’re less formal, you could take them for a light hike!
Check out my ultimate guide to men’s dress boot styles for much more.
#3. Leather Jacket
Why Women Love It:
Timeless James Dean bad boy appeal. Leather is tough yet tactile. It’s animal. It’s skin. On a primal level, it says ‘mighty hunter’.
Again, match your leathers! Black is more movie star or rock star, brown is more Indiana Jones.
A good leather jacket is well fitted to your body (not tight or boxy) with high armholes. A REALLY good leather jacket is made of FULL GRAIN leather and will set you back a pretty penny or so, but just like the cashmere sweater, it’s worth it because it’s so extremely durable and will last you for years and years.
Short is stylish – in general, your belt should be visible when you zip your jacket up.
This goes double if you ARE short – a short jacket will give you longer legs. Thin men will look good in a jacket that cinches around the waist and gives you that ‘v’ shape, while bigger guys should avoid the wrap-around look and go for a straight cut.
If you want to achieve the original bad boy outfit, pair with well-fitted jeans and a plain white t-shirt to complete the James Dean look. Go for ‘athletic fit’ in your shirts – v-necks are really popular with the ladies too.
To learn more about which leather jacket is right for you, check out my handy guide to different leather jacket styles for men.
Why Women Love It:
Accessories that are rugged yet classy set you apart as both a man and a gentleman. They show that you know what you’re doing, and you care enough to do it. They also mark you out as a man who’s achieved a measure of success in life. There’s a world of difference between the guy with ordinary luggage in the airport and the guy with beautiful full grain leather.
A good masculine accessory can also echo the difference between your body and hers – a little bigger, a little chunkier, maybe a little rougher and tougher than something she’d own herself. Natural materials give you an outdoorsy feel which is very sexy.
How to get your ENTIRE accessory game on point is a little beyond the scope of this article, but here’s a very quick rundown:
Choose LEATHER bags (preferably full grain) – NO backpacks. Get a briefcase for work and some leather luggage to turn heads at the airport. By the way, your wallet should be leather too. It’s time to ditch the canvas, polyester, velcro, Bat-Symbols, etc.
Watches and masculine bracelets show off a man’s forearms, which are very attractive to women. Watches also show that you value your time and care about being punctual. They carry a classic, mature and gentlemanly vibe – the opposite of using your smartphone to tell time.
Watches should be analog, not digital, with a metal or leather strap – no plastic or rubber. In general, metal straps are a more versatile look and leather is for dress watches.
Don’t be the guy who buys a watch on impulse to later find out that:
- It doesn’t fit right
- It was overpriced
- The band material is weak
- The metal is fake…or worse, it’s a luxury watch replica (that happened to me)
- It doesn’t match anything
Watches should match your metals (don’t wear gold and silver together) and also match leathers if they have a leather strap.
Jewelry should match your metals too – gold is best for warm skin tones, silver for cool tones. Don’t overdo it – piling on accessories can easily make you look overdone or lopsided. Wear bigger jewelry if you’re a bigger guy and vice versa.
#4. Well-Fitted Suit Or Uniform
Why Women Love It:
You look smart, capable, and powerful. Fit is king.
The difference between a guy who has his military uniform tailored and one who doesn’t is huge even on the parade field. By getting your uniform fitted to your body, you take something good and make it excellent.
When you try on a suit, look for a good fit in your “natural stance” – standing up straight, preferably in the kind of dress shoes you’ll be wearing with your suits, with your arms relaxed at your side.
Basics of suit fit:
- Shoulders lie flat
- No ‘dreaded x’ shaped creases in the front of the jacket (too tight) or lapels hanging forward (too loose)
- Collar hits back of shirt collar but doesn’t cause bunching up
- Sleeves don’t twist
- Sleeves end just above the wrist bone/leave half an inch of cuff
- Jacket comes down to the middle of your hand in natural stance
- Pants drape smoothly – no pulling tight or sagging
- Small trouser break
See our infographic on suit fit for all the details.
Why Women Love It:
Why am I mentioning this in an article on clothing? Well, women do – over and over again. In any discussion of what looks sexy on men, you can almost guarantee someone will mention confidence.
While nobody likes arrogance, if your demeanor says, ‘I’m unimportant and uninteresting,’ women are likely to agree and leave you alone – even if you’re actually a great guy. Confidence says, ‘I’m worth knowing.’ It signals that you’d make a strong, capable partner and father – and makes her wonder what you’ve got to be so confident about…
One of the best confidence boosts is dressing well! Others include:
#1. Power posing. Did you know that standing like Superman for 2 minutes boosts interview performance? And no, you don’t stand like Superman IN the interview – only before, when nobody is looking. Use this trick to boost confidence in all kinds of situations.
#2. Visualization. Picture yourself moving through life as a confident man. If a situation scares you, visualize yourself sailing through it with all the confidence you want to have.
#3. Improve posture. Science shows that when we stand taller, we feel better about ourselves. For a cheap and easy hack, try running a length of duct tape on your spine – if you slouch, the pull on the tape will remind you to straighten up!
#4. Positive self-talk. Would you expect a man to be confident if he heard criticism and insults all day every day? How often do you talk that way to yourself? At least some of the time, try to turn that on its head and tell yourself you’re doing great.
#5. Get rid of body odor. Feeling smelly has been shown to reduce confidence in men so much that they become less attractive even on video – and I have to assume it wasn’t smellovision! Get up 10 minutes earlier and take that shower.
#6. Wear a signature cologne. Just as smelling bad makes you feel bad about yourself, smelling good makes you feel good about yourself. And having the same scent every day (that’s NOT armpit funk) gives a sense of stability and reminds you that the space around you is YOURS.
#7. Focus on your breathing. Take a tip from the old meditation masters and try the oldest relaxation technique in the book. Breathe slowly and deeply, and just for a moment, don’t think about anything else. Sounds too simple, but it really works.
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